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THE_Black_Jesus

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THE_Black_Jesus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 464
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About THE_Black_Jesus : Dance party:
~(','~) (~',')~ \('-'\) (/'-')/ \('-'\)
(/'-')/ €('-')3 \('-')/

•Kik Me: danieloneal95
•Pheed: @DanielOneal
•SnapChat: jknoracial
•So I'm Daniel. I'm 18 and a Senior in high school. I'm an all a round athlete but mainly Wrestling and Baseball.
•Message me and I'll reply. I try to get on here everyday and don't have a Facebook because I don't.

THE_Black_Jesus's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:59pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:01pm<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:48am<b>colerean</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:34pm<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 5:47pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:25pm<b>nicky255</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:14pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:45pm<b>hayfayday</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:36pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:37pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:00pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:07pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:35am<b>aishaa1</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:21am<b>malaz</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:12am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 9:01am<b>bballer4life895</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:53am

THE_Black_Jesus's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of THE_Black_Jesus's badges

THE_Black_Jesus's favorite FMLs

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168429) - you deserved it (27394)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (200712) - you deserved it (31610)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253804) - you deserved it (42927)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244296) - you deserved it (32229)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

#365324
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195793) - you deserved it (27553)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183012) - you deserved it (28620)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237232) - you deserved it (82066)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML



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