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TG1097

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 6:28am) | Search for a member

TG1097

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  • Number of visits : 117
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TG1097's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (5791)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22089) - you deserved it (9312)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37490) - you deserved it (9702)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16035) - you deserved it (45878)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (10089)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40055) - you deserved it (8576)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

#12353500
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (3552)

On 08/06/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by shitpile - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34458) - you deserved it (6033)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (9281)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42443) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (420474) - you deserved it (59678)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177125) - you deserved it (45623)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138833) - you deserved it (25889)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (225427) - you deserved it (15016)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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