Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TEAZO

Search for a member

TEAZO

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35122
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About TEAZO : Im Teagan =]
I Am Pretty Crazy.
I Am Very Social XD
And I Don't Care What People Think Of Me.
I Guess My Life Doesn't suck that much hence they wont post my things ha oh well.
hit me up on myspace. www.myspace.com/tightlikerice
or msn xxbangteaganxx@hotmail.com

TEAZO's page activity

Visits<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:24am<b>ghostdude515</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:29am<b>awkwardmess</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:21pm<b>anjtrg_1112</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Holmes27</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:23am<b>megwithcat</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:54am<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:50pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:31pm<b>flexico30</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:13am<b>iceshard01</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:23am<b>Anthonym9988</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:54pm<b>mcmuffinman1</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:04am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:23am<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:53pm<b>screwMyLife87878</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:15am<b>Icebrisket</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:30pm<b>knicksforlife33</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:08pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 9:51am

TEAZO's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TEAZO's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75973) - you deserved it (7214)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

#303053
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78700) - you deserved it (7452)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (259789) - you deserved it (47638)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52262) - you deserved it (98007)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#278323
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62417) - you deserved it (13989)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by justfat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234879) - you deserved it (14777)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88657) - you deserved it (26941)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (50015)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

#252783
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58073) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181185) - you deserved it (13164)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74682) - you deserved it (7903)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54181) - you deserved it (3878)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
157 comments

Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML

#226601
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43833) - you deserved it (7960)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by sasd32 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: