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Syren201

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Syren201

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  • Number of visits : 798
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Judgmental

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50 favourites

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Mobility

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Syren201's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37987) - you deserved it (3970) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (6022)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (4676)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17401) - you deserved it (29775)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

#19528720
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you deserved it (2215)

On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (4220)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (63535)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9327) - you deserved it (17890)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13355) - you deserved it (54618) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (2431)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6916) - you deserved it (46998)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (9343)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (2857)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (32794)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States



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