SylCastilleja13

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SylCastilleja13

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  • Number of visits : 217
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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SylCastilleja13's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

by Selina / 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Animals

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

by naughtymommy0317 / 06/20/2013 at 4:47am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

by notkatvond / 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States / Work

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

by loveyadad / 06/16/2013 at 11:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy