Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 06/04/2014 at 4:49am) | Search for a member
About SydneyGrey : Hi! I love this blog and find it hilarious! My friend introduced it to me after I got mad at him for laughing at other people's misery. Hahaha. Well I'm laughing now too! So other than i LOVE acting, singing, dancing, and just overall performing!!! I LOVE cross country! my life is literally theatre, xc, school, and thats it!!! (u might think its sad but i enjoy every minute of it!) Im VERY protective of my loved ones and will beat someone up if they mess w/ them! :) I am 100% anti-bully for personal reasons (don't ask, i wont tell) Oh and I love disney and food and being me! I'm a sophomore! And I'm single! :) never had a bf/been kissed. yeah that's it BYE! just FYI I'm a total 100% dorky nerd!!!! Haha I just don't look like one though (I hope ;) )
Also I don't have a kik, fb, etc.. U can message me through FML though! I don't bite but don't even bother asking for pics! I will NOT send any!!!! I will tell u to F off instead!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML
Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Monday 1 September 2014