Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SychoticFML

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

SychoticFML

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SychoticFML : Fuck My Life... Fuck Your Life... Without That There Is Nothing. JK FML is indeed a drug to me and this be my profile enjoy... LAWL XD

SychoticFML's page activity

Visits<b>SalviBarbie</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 10:27am<b>LiveLifeAllDay</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:35am

SychoticFML's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of SychoticFML's badges

SychoticFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19154) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37386) - you deserved it (4268)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (10781)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (51065)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (3351)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40212) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41246) - you deserved it (7769)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63071) - you deserved it (8531)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44539) - you deserved it (18000)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39344) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: