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SwimmingGuy97

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SwimmingGuy97

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  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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SwimmingGuy97's page activity

Visits<b>RabbitOfAurora</b> - the 12/11/2012 at 6:52am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 11:06am

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SwimmingGuy97's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (16322)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (1798)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47120) - you deserved it (13984)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19310) - you deserved it (3909)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34132) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (2764)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25864) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (6246)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (2490)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (3972)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10219) - you deserved it (31912)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (4369)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML



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