SwimmingBassist

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Offline (the 01/08/2014 at 7:54am)

SwimmingBassist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1335
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SwimmingBassist's page activity

Visits<b>AtLast</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 6:39pm<b>disasterlydeed</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 1:40am<b>cassablanca91</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:53am<b>melbear772</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:48pm<b>love4leopard</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:29pm<b>aimeroni</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Iz_Dolan</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:35am<b>beckamay</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:29am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:33pm<b>circus_princess</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:52pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Andicc</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:11pm<b>UntoldStory69</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:14pm<b>shadow292627</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:23pm<b>thealleighcat</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:27pm<b>_puke</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:11pm

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SwimmingBassist's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

by pale-suzie / 03/19/2014 at 8:28am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

by KBBL / 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 11:33am / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

by Seriously? / 03/09/2014 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

by scaredypants123 / 03/07/2014 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

by dyingangel246 / 03/05/2014 at 5:15am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

by anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML

by :/ / 03/04/2014 at 8:37am / Kids

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love