Swift4Life

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/23/2015 at 10:03pm)

Swift4Life

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2005
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Swift4Life : Im what you get when you mix OCD, stubbornness & the jack-*ss syndrome all together. I love Taylor Swift, Paramore and hockey. Since you now know that, you pretty much know everything about me. Yup, I'm that interesting.

Swift4Life's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:11am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:09pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:40pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:43pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:21am<b>artist264</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:32pm<b>October3461</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:11pm<b>doglover100</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:43am<b>Evie97</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:01pm<b>StephanoTheSloth</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 10:06am<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:46pm<b>abit2lil</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:42am<b>Sawsaiuge</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 3:12am<b>lythalls</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:45am<b>badminton</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:45am<b>Dame84</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:51pm<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:34pm

Swift4Life's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Swift4Life's badges

Swift4Life's favorite FMLs

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

by D / 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

by ulisha5 / 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Kids

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love