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Swedude

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Swedude

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 501
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Swedude : I

Swedude's page activity

Visits<b>martin8337</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:51pm<b>toshtits</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:34am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:14am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 8:56pm<b>AnnDarnell</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:31pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:37pm<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:20pm<b>clairespo</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 11:22am<b>mavericks777</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:56pm<b>fmlissocoolomg</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:12pm<b>Odao</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 5:42pm<b>xxbvbsusanxx</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 2:05pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 10:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 9:33am<b>iHasDonuts</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 6:32am<b>boredkidlulz</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 5:44am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 4:06am<b>Blixamarkham</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 3:53am

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Swedude's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43076) - you deserved it (4008)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (6375)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (6367)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (4263)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1706)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (1419)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (2319)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (2282)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (4670)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (46547)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26609) - you deserved it (1765)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14716) - you deserved it (38368)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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