About Swagmaster3000 : I really don't know how you found me considering I don't post anything but here I am. If you're up for scintillating conversations about walruses, the ankylosaurus, Pokémon, most pop culture or Doctor Who here I am. If not I probably serve you no purpose I'm really not all that good with social skills I'm sorry. I may or may not be fun to talk to? So you might as well try I suppose. Or not. That's cool too.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Swagmaster3000's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by HaedLei / 11/26/2013 at 7:17am / United States / Intimacy
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work
by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
by docwinters / 05/27/2013 at 8:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
by vagina dentata for christmas, pls / 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm / United States / Love
by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.…