SwaggerMelon

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SwaggerMelon

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1528
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SwaggerMelon : No description available.

SwaggerMelon's page activity

Visits<b>kittikat8ball</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:12pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:19am<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 3:31am<b>walker9879</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:40pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:31pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 9:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:36am<b>slaxer</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:23am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:02pm<b>Moonditch</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Jacob0816</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:38am<b>whatOu</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:03pm<b>RandomPrius</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:27am<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 4:46pm<b>LifeSurvivor</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 9:42pm<b>brubakers</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 2:29pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:26am<b>sabrinalynn22</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 7:38pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:36pm

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SwaggerMelon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

by juliannamelissa / 09/06/2012 at 2:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

by iamnotalawyer / 03/26/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

by ashleynicolle / 02/25/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

by sophhiee / 11/05/2011 at 7:45am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous