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Svalbardo's FML badges
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Svalbardo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by biggs sprhro / 10/10/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML
by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML
by sucked_in / 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML
by Sheldon76 / 02/24/2015 at 2:43pm / Health
Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML
by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health
Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML
by Heyjai / 12/16/2014 at 9:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…