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Svalbardo

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Svalbardo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Svalbardo's page activity

Visits<b>Caroline1812</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:01am<b>3051628</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>lizardFace</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:41am<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:04pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:08pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:19am<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>cherry35</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>foreverhappy98</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:46pm

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Svalbardo's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9568) - you deserved it (33710)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (2649)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (2907)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (19621)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
115 comments

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36843) - you deserved it (7265)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (33266)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37909) - you deserved it (6026)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (9621)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52803) - you deserved it (4523)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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