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SuumahEli

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SuumahEli

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 315
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SuumahEli : "If I can't be the best, I can certainly be the worst!" -JonTron

SuumahEli's page activity

Visits<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:38am<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:55pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:46am

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SuumahEli's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36185) - you deserved it (8070)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23513) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (16079)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (25168)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (3663)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (1957)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15682) - you deserved it (3050)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (8821)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

#20076161
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28260) - you deserved it (1577)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - France



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