Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SuumahEli

Online | Search for a member

SuumahEli

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2138
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SuumahEli : "If I can't be the best, I can certainly be the worst!" -JonTron

SuumahEli's page activity

Visits<b>unfuqnreal</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:51pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:27am<b>IvyRizzzzoli</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:12pm<b>irisr</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:38am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:13pm<b>nospmis517</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:48pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:38am<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:55pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:46am

SuumahEli's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of SuumahEli's badges

SuumahEli's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (6271)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55152) - you deserved it (7452)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (3835)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

#21192529
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (4199)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm - work - by ~~~ (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45736) - you deserved it (5061)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45622) - you deserved it (6420)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48138) - you deserved it (4689)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64748) - you deserved it (9212)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (5125)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49997) - you deserved it (15835)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55683) - you deserved it (4866)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48965) - you deserved it (7631)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (11097)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (4755)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: