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SuumahEli

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SuumahEli
  • Town/Country : Under Your Bed, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 180
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SuumahEli : "If I can't be the best, I can certainly be the worst!" -JonTron

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SuumahEli's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (4357)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (33083)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (4553)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35533) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

#6731924
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5173) - you deserved it (42501)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by eggnoodles (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (2369)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (32913)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15741) - you deserved it (6946)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7866) - you deserved it (100379)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (75877)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13480) - you deserved it (39596)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after selling their car, my parents decided to inform me that my car (that I paid for myself) is now going to be the "Family Car". They also informed me that since it is, after all, my car, I'll still have to pay for the gas and maintenance. FML

#4429159
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73506) - you deserved it (3562)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50421) - you deserved it (26095)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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