Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SuumahEli

Search for a member

SuumahEli
  • Town/Country : Under Your Bed, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SuumahEli : "If I can't be the best, I can certainly be the worst!" -JonTron

SuumahEli's last visitors

haylburgpatrickalamo

SuumahEli's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of SuumahEli's badges

SuumahEli's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

#17434039
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (2093)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

#17333987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (2403)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Savannah - United States (Alaska)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (14934)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (5026)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

#16942912
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (13746)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:14am - love - by jakewr - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (19668)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (28929)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

#14406610
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (4546)

On 12/31/2010 at 6:11am - love - by ohemmgeee (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (5202)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (7696)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

#13974897
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (20681)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: