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SuumahEli

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SuumahEli

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1434
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SuumahEli : "If I can't be the best, I can certainly be the worst!" -JonTron

SuumahEli's page activity

Visits<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:38am<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:55pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:46am

SuumahEli's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of SuumahEli's badges

SuumahEli's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

#21379106
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (400) - you deserved it (2997)

On 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm - misc - by van no gough (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (4212)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35420) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125) - you deserved it (30)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33913) - you deserved it (5482)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (7541)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (3163)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (2756)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (3426)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36871) - you deserved it (3577)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

#21226986
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32388) - you deserved it (15643)

On 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54354) - you deserved it (4782)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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