SuumahEli

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SuumahEli

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2665
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SuumahEli : "If I can't be the best, I can certainly be the worst!" -JonTron

SuumahEli's page activity

Visits<b>skychu</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:55am<b>unfuqnreal</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:51pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:27am<b>IvyRizzzzoli</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:12pm<b>irisr</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:38am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:13pm<b>nospmis517</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:48pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:38am<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:55pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:46am

SuumahEli's FML badges

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SuumahEli's favorite FMLs

Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML

by DesperateMother / 06/28/2016 at 6:12am / France (Alsace) / Kids

Today, I was at church singing and my solo came up. As I walked through the crowd, this big woman caught the holy spirit and slapped the crap out of me. It was so hard, my fake tooth came out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 10:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

by I write sins not other people's essays / 05/11/2016 at 11:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

by MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain / 03/30/2016 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

by Why / 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

by anonymous / 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 9:21am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

by :'( / 09/08/2015 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm / Kids

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous