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Surge5560

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Surge5560

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1929
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Visits<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:43pm<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>AnalAssault123</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:26am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:38am<b>warsun</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:24am<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:14am<b>XSimpleDesignX</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:42am<b>Tonasharkman</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:56am<b>whatwhatindayeah</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:47pm<b>jdeezy01</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>spekledworf</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:36pm<b>juice723</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 6:24pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:47pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:43pm

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Surge5560's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

#20714023
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51043) - you deserved it (3859)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

#20709553
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52965) - you deserved it (10644)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Senegal

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
173 comments

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32755) - you deserved it (48018)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57534) - you deserved it (4823)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (3434)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63644) - you deserved it (14007)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40647) - you deserved it (6292)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (2717)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47825) - you deserved it (3355)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59076) - you deserved it (5789)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (73227)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19112) - you deserved it (41234)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53367) - you deserved it (8643)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59106) - you deserved it (5972)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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