Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Surge5560

Search for a member

Surge5560

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1583
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Surge5560's page activity

Visits<b>AnalAssault123</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:26am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:38am<b>warsun</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:24am<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:14am<b>XSimpleDesignX</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:42am<b>Tonasharkman</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:56am<b>whatwhatindayeah</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:47pm<b>jdeezy01</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>spekledworf</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:36pm<b>juice723</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 6:24pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:47pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:43pm<b>starile</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 12:00pm<b>ilovemyself1845</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 5:25pm

Surge5560's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Surge5560's badges

Surge5560's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (3037)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49983) - you deserved it (33752)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52878) - you deserved it (5365)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18715) - you deserved it (43100)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47388) - you deserved it (10554)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50157) - you deserved it (5708)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48016) - you deserved it (3029)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35411) - you deserved it (10529)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (7520)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (8291)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38738) - you deserved it (2805)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44492) - you deserved it (3611)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (11016)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

#20870447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50239) - you deserved it (3931)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm - health - by what's a rimjob between friends? (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (10663)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: