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Surge5560

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 8:42pm) | Search for a member

Surge5560

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1763
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Surge5560's page activity

Visits<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 2:58pm<b>AnalAssault123</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:26am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:38am<b>warsun</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:24am<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:14am<b>XSimpleDesignX</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:42am<b>Tonasharkman</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:56am<b>whatwhatindayeah</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:47pm<b>jdeezy01</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>spekledworf</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:36pm<b>juice723</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 6:24pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:47pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:43pm

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Surge5560's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51659) - you deserved it (6530)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42414) - you deserved it (12613)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (16501)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (55505)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48229) - you deserved it (3418)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (16471)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (56434)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (31741)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47125) - you deserved it (17090)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (49138)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48424) - you deserved it (9529)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (21020)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51862) - you deserved it (16528)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48454) - you deserved it (5757)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46407) - you deserved it (6861)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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