SuperWasian

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SuperWasian

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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SuperWasian's page activity

Visits<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 7:54pm<b>Shandrahagerman</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 12:30pm

Fucked!<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:54am

SuperWasian's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SuperWasian's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 3:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

by Dilly / 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

by birdbath / 11/08/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

by chicochico / 12/19/2008 at 11:05am / Intimacy