About Sunny_Eclipse : I'm too lazy to criticise your dumb comment.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (4075)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9496) - you deserved it (42229)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (11927)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8403) - you deserved it (38243)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (11850)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (2760)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52262) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (2736)
On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (1941)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (8609)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (69660)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (3841)
On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (1797)
On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
