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SuicidalStoner's FML badges
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
SuicidalStoner's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any… Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean… Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on…