SuddenDeath5

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Offline (the 01/13/2016 at 6:13pm)

SuddenDeath5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5568
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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SuddenDeath5's page activity

Visits<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:10pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:56pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:25pm<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:51am<b>Harshmellow</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:15pm<b>Masterbator</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 5:43pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 4:48pm<b>vote4paco</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:44pm<b>lz_mordan</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 1:45pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:32am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 7:51pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 1:47am<b>Fluffydemise</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:45pm<b>chachochach</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:18am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:27pm

SuddenDeath5's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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SuddenDeath5's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

by $$$ / 05/29/2013 at 12:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

by rachelllynne / 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

by anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Wyoming) / Money

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

by luvs2spooge89 / 05/01/2013 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

by Brady / 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Kids

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

by sherrylynn / 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous