Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SuddenDeath5

Search for a member

SuddenDeath5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 787
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SuddenDeath5's page activity

Visits<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:51am<b>Harshmellow</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:15pm<b>Masterbator</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 5:43pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 4:48pm<b>vote4paco</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:44pm<b>lz_mordan</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 1:45pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:32am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 7:51pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 1:47am<b>Fluffydemise</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:45pm<b>chachochach</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:18am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:27pm

SuddenDeath5's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SuddenDeath5's badges

SuddenDeath5's favorite FMLs

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41101) - you deserved it (6329)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (7683)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

#20973740
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (3230)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (6659)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39834) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (7512)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55385) - you deserved it (8438)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

#20960536
70 comments

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (2653)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54127) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML

#20953603
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/11/2013 at 3:18am - work - by ShakenNotStirred - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46471) - you deserved it (4177)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (5158)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (4135)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (6987)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: