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Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33595) - you deserved it (7839)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (5598)
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (6316)
On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (1943)
On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (1965)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11681) - you deserved it (33783)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (668)
On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States
Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (4578)
On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (10198)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (3224)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65200) - you deserved it (15915)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11394) - you deserved it (24441)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (4200)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2744)
On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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