- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Friday 5 August 1994 (21 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 2217
- Number of comments : 0
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted
About SuckToSuck : Lame.
About SuckToSuck : Lame.
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Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
by Jamestown of Vagina / 09/13/2014 at 10:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML
by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek
Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML
by sydspears3 / 09/09/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by guiltnazan / 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids