About Success4444 : My name is Katie, I have a wonderful boyfriend named Rick, and I am finishing up my B.A. in Literature. I have a dog, two cats, a guinea pig, and a litter-trained rabbit (believe it or not.) I am pretty normal, and love reading the horror stories on here! School has already started, so expect to read some FML's from me soon!
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Success4444's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
by married / 10/16/2010 at 8:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by DHarman / 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by lalararara / 03/04/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
by Juggalette / 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
by Trainwreck / 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
by ashleyramsay / 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by zappy / 10/11/2009 at 12:40am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML
by Dave / 09/10/2009 at 9:37am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals
Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
by GettingNone / 06/24/2009 at 11:05pm / Intimacy