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Succeededkiller

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Succeededkiller

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7205
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>demi94</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Dawnstempest</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>Irchell</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:57am<b>satin_betty</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 4:19pm

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Succeededkiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (3333)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20867) - you deserved it (36113)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30998) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (3551)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

#21289623
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30549) - you deserved it (3737)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:26am - misc - by helosthisshit (man) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (3210)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (3589)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (2562)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (3048)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (3610)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)



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