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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Subakie's favorite FMLs
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by ohmygod / 06/20/2013 at 1:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (California) / Work
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML
by kiss98367 / 06/16/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Love
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by DolphinGirl369 / 06/07/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Iowa) / Animals
by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…