Subakie

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Subakie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15876
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Subakie's page activity

Visits<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:24am<b>martini47</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:12am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:07pm<b>9ndfine</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:15am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:32pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:22am<b>gwho</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:08am<b>Pk93</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:42am<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>nightdreamer13</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:24am<b>drokkkit</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:36pm

Fucked!<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:29pm

Subakie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Subakie's badges

Subakie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

by footstuck / 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

by Where is the faith in Humanity / 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

by The_FN_Gunny / 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

by Dor51 / 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

by SharkWeek / 10/27/2013 at 11:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

by KatieElizabeth / 10/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

by anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 2:53am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous