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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (1835)
On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (25289)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13709) - you deserved it (2158)
On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)
Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (3463)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (3008)
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (1924)
On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5534) - you deserved it (22678)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51128) - you deserved it (9746)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39577) - you deserved it (2513)
On 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by dominator152 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a site so she can access my test scores. The password was "dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8688) - you deserved it (33837)
On 03/25/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by uhoh901 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (9870)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3212)
On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (24188)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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