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Suba's favorite FMLs
Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML
by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2012 at 9:46am / United States / Money
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
by Infiltrator4444 / 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by soso / 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML
by jeremiah / 11/06/2011 at 3:21am / Australia / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
by bullseyed / 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by dominator152 / 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by uhoh901 / 03/25/2010 at 7:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even… Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he… Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying,…