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StupidMonkey497

Offline (the 02/04/2016 at 1:24pm) | Search for a member

StupidMonkey497

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About StupidMonkey497 : Hey there! My name is *why dafuq you want to know?*. I am 17 years old and live in the US. Listen to rock and all that good shit (3DG Avenged Sevenfold Breaking Benjamin etc) Could always use a good laugh.

StupidMonkey497's page activity

Visits<b>shanewh40</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 4:45pm<b>firefighter925</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:32am<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:10am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:46pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:05pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:03am<b>ShadowLor</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:39pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:10pm<b>myselfkk</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:00pm<b>Xer0_Zexeroth</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:07am<b>lambda</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:50am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:47am<b>jovas15</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:01pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:57pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:57pm<b>Thasnoxi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:26am<b>XPiemaster</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:08am

Fucked!<b>mswim</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 3:26pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:25am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:14am

StupidMonkey497's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of StupidMonkey497's badges

StupidMonkey497's favorite FMLs

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

#21519593
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/26/2016 at 6:40am - work - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

#21519574
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (1804)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:18am - love - by CaptMacLeod (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

#21518044
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19771) - you deserved it (7407)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:47am - animals - by swag papi - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

#21517790
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (1058)

On 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm - work - by automotive glass tech - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19228) - you deserved it (2152)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

#21516693
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (1340)

On 01/18/2016 at 6:42pm - misc - by meh beard (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

#21516669
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (1538)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

#21516615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (1241)

On 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm - health - by anon -

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (12952)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (17662)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

#21514262
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (1748)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:44am - misc - by Anonymous -



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