About Stroke_Her_Ace : Fun lovin bartender
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48358) - you deserved it (5780)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (8656)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)
Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22743) - you deserved it (2084)
On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10281) - you deserved it (22459)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19416) - you deserved it (9488)
On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (28277)
On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (3809)
On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (5086)
On 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm - misc - by me - United States
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (4179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (2005)
On 07/22/2011 at 7:49pm - misc - by AceGeek (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (8765)
On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (8038)
On 07/22/2011 at 1:00am - intimacy - by James - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9026) - you deserved it (35795)
On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25560) - you deserved it (2314)
On 07/01/2011 at 12:15am - health - by nico (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you deserved it (42734)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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