Stroke_Her_Ace

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Offline (the 06/10/2016 at 2:19am)

Stroke_Her_Ace

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 March 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1860
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Stroke_Her_Ace : Derrickhand - My office has a better view.

Stroke_Her_Ace's page activity

Visits<b>trex19</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 8:06pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:07am<b>uncultured_swine</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:58am<b>Aeriyx</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:17pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 10:44pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:05pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:47am<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:09am<b>jojolame</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:34pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:53pm<b>racello13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:10am<b>Grayy</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 6:25pm<b>bobbymcjagger</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 3:17pm<b>JackStewart522</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:40am<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 11:30am<b>xLIGHTS</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:37pm<b>kaed</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 7:22am<b>anglesfan27</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:21am

Stroke_Her_Ace's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Stroke_Her_Ace's badges

Stroke_Her_Ace's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

by Cathy / 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

by me / 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

by mathii / 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm / Love

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

by AceGeek / 07/22/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

by James / 07/22/2011 at 1:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm / United States / Transportation