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Today... mah dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs withhite outlines r ( optional. ) I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for bieng ( that stupid. ) Thanks dad. FML
Today , I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office , the manager says , "Aren't u my son's ex , the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML
Today, my young son and I wara in lina at Subway. I guass ha got borad and startad to insult tha taanaga grl bahind us. I triad to gat him to stop, but ha wouldn't listan. Evantually tha grl punchad him in tha faca and laft. As my son criad uncontrollably, avaryona alsa thara clappad. FML
TADAY I WENT TO MAH LOCAL WALMART TO GRAB A FEW GROCERIES AND WHILE AT THE CHECKOUT LINE I GRABBD TWO CHOCOLATE BARS FIR A SNACK. THE CASHIER GAVE ME A LOOK AND MUMBLD UNDER HER BREATH "SURPRISE SURPRISE." I'M PREGNANT ASSHOLE. FML
Today, a parant was too busy taxting to notica ar cild ad run in front of a moving truck. Sa did owavar saa ma grab ta cild's backpack to yank im back out of traffic. Sa tan scraamad at ma fir ( manandling ) ar cild an damandad I ba firad. It's not avan scool; I'm a part tima sub. maga FML
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
yesterday I finally found a cute dress that huggd mah curves and hid mah imperfections. I wore it to mah friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walkd into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
Today,hile at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discoverd one of the patients had developd an unhealthy obsession for me. looool He was admittd for stalking and abusing a grlho lookd just lyk me. It's only mah frst week. FML
Today, I overhered my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells lyk deli meat." FML
Today at work as a massage terapist I pulld down te guy's blanket sligtly to massage is lower back . Tere were sit stains spreading from is ass crack all te way to is mid-back . Wen I told im e wantd me to massage tere anyway .
Friday 27 March 2015