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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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StrangeSpider

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StrangeSpider
  • Town/Country : Saint Petersurg, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 341
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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StrangeSpider's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52120) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

#4673075 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (50458) - you deserved it (7774)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48200) - you deserved it (8640)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (5737)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (34706) - you deserved it (8252)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (1639)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (35856)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (18900) - you deserved it (69775)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

#4277493 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (2917)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (13780)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50436) - you deserved it (10399)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16751) - you deserved it (39916)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81756) - you deserved it (24059)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

#4026463 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (29426)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:13am - love - by lonely (man) - United States (Washington)