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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Straka

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Straka
  • Town/Country : Chicago, IL
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (1413)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (6062) - you deserved it (12112)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (3049)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (6024)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (13535) - you deserved it (20173)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML

#12631880 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (22120)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856 (505)

I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (21635)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5764) - you deserved it (20862)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (7224) - you deserved it (32664)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50121) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a man who lost 650 pounds. I ignored it, until I saw who sent it. My mom, with the message "Maybe there's hope for you." FML

#3740812 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (33877) - you deserved it (5988)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (50766) - you deserved it (18617)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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