Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

StormFire

Search for a member

StormFire

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 91
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

StormFire's page activity

Visits<b>Spider_Web</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:35am

StormFire's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

StormFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49466) - you deserved it (13273)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63973) - you deserved it (6154)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50058) - you deserved it (33783)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45913) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (89037)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (6386)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49453) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39146) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58805) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

#20865600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35782) - you deserved it (9804)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CodyS - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (19219)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49762) - you deserved it (5682)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59699) - you deserved it (6137)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: