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StopTheFuckinCar

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StopTheFuckinCar
  • Town/Country : Orange County, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 556
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About StopTheFuckinCar : eat my ass.

StopTheFuckinCar's FML badges

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StopTheFuckinCar's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (10384)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

#12649609 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (1877)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (7655)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (31492) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (74752)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (49202)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (4451)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. Beautiful, smart, academic, charming, a true gentlemen, totally my type. I am at a bar voted "the best gay bar in the world". FML

#12059383 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (18265) - you deserved it (11559)

On 07/23/2010 at 3:39am - love - by V - United States

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (31179)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (12815) - you deserved it (45231)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (5458)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390 (386)

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (38984)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (28284)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)