About Stoner09 : i like food.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (85158)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65611) - you deserved it (14295)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71236) - you deserved it (10867)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54893) - you deserved it (12613)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65540) - you deserved it (8904)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44046) - you deserved it (5947)
On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by manda (woman) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (20048)
On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (11241)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13194) - you deserved it (2126)
On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (47920)
On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33309) - you deserved it (6929)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15408) - you deserved it (18487)
On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5101) - you deserved it (47788)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (1117)
On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (18420)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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