Stoner09

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Stoner09

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6373
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Stoner09 : i like food.

Stoner09's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:20am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:42am<b>gaysunshine</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:40pm<b>fairman</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 10:31pm<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:31pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:32am<b>ha</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 6:29pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 3:12pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 6:47pm<b>screwtaylor</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 3:04pm<b>Htownmichigan</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 11:47am<b>blehbleh18</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 10:25am<b>Chocolate_Cake</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 1:22pm<b>Steph1234</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 4:03pm<b>drunkenpoop</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 1:55pm<b>jeremymg91</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 12:21pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:20pm

Stoner09's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Stoner09's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML

by Prometheus / 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

by megan228 / 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

by elevator-troubles / 03/18/2009 at 3:59am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

by sandy / 03/17/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

by that1guy / 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous