StoicCloud

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Offline (the 08/20/2016 at 7:15pm)

StoicCloud

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 January 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7020
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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StoicCloud's page activity

Visits<b>TheKingOfHearts</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:53am<b>kelbel9577</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:59pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:37pm<b>sam882</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:00am<b>cainightroad</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 6:02pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Ryiah</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:35pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:06am<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:57pm<b>turtles_love</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:39pm<b>MegaHAMX</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Princessuuke</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:02am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:36am

Fucked!<b>TheKingOfHearts</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:16pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:59am

StoicCloud's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of StoicCloud's badges

StoicCloud's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

by Target / 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

by VMV / 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

by idiot / 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous