StoicCloud

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Offline (the 07/24/2016 at 5:58am)

StoicCloud

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 January 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6782
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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StoicCloud's page activity

Visits<b>TheKingOfHearts</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:53am<b>kelbel9577</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:59pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:37pm<b>sam882</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:00am<b>cainightroad</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 6:02pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Ryiah</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:35pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:06am<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:57pm<b>turtles_love</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:39pm<b>MegaHAMX</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Princessuuke</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:02am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:36am

Fucked!<b>TheKingOfHearts</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:16pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:59am

StoicCloud's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of StoicCloud's badges

StoicCloud's favorite FMLs

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

by -.- / 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

by peace out / 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 2:09am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm / United States / Health