Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

StoicCloud

Search for a member

StoicCloud
  • Town/Country : Dreamland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 January 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1821
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

StoicCloud's last visitors

Black_Knight80TrollxHowieDoItbrooke_lalainepatchesOhoolihanalibear7VerstbomzoDevinElevenCandycake

StoicCloud's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of StoicCloud's badges

StoicCloud's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30605) - you deserved it (9233)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

#17388987
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (1985)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Pinkie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (2610)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (64571)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7937) - you deserved it (70508)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (8766)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML

#17008873
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (19629)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by Preggie - Singapore

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40030) - you deserved it (4574)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (4820)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (11274)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13665) - you deserved it (37406)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58822) - you deserved it (8488)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (40302)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

#12966386
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (7101)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by undoable - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: