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StoicCloud

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StoicCloud

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  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 January 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3025
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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StoicCloud's page activity

Visits<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:57pm<b>turtles_love</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:39pm<b>MegaHAMX</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Princessuuke</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:02am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:36am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:24am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:03am<b>patchesOhoolihan</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 7:13pm<b>alibear7</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Verst</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 4:32am<b>bomzo</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:12am<b>music8484</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 7:29pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 11:01pm<b>Candycake</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 9:16pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:41am

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StoicCloud's favorite FMLs

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (8461)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32059) - you deserved it (4549) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (13929)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (2409)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (17027)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (5432)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (5798)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (48087)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38769) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (35340)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (4614)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59301) - you deserved it (6830)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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