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Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (1654)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (3652)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (16955)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (1382)
On 02/27/2010 at 2:03pm - health - by hairplease (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (2229)
On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12309) - you deserved it (2580)
On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (2851)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:12pm - work - by sucksssssss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19379) - you deserved it (9180)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (6248)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (2402)
On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8863) - you deserved it (11175)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6394) - you deserved it (22107)
On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4263) - you deserved it (51200)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14292) - you deserved it (2567)
On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10236) - you deserved it (4154)
On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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