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Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (7731)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21547) - you deserved it (6904)
On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25119) - you deserved it (16088)
Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35536) - you deserved it (4221)
On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States
Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23355) - you deserved it (4772)
On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -
Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (11095)
On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11144) - you deserved it (29143)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53687) - you deserved it (7015)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (31479)
On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (7027)
On 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by undoable - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51557) - you deserved it (9917)
On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (8443)
On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57383) - you deserved it (6233)
On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by drsyl54 - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (4665)
On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (2960)
On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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