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TODAY... I WAS GOING FIR MA MORNING WALK... WEN A GUY IN A MASSIVE TRUCK DROVE UP BESIDE ME... WIT A KID NO MORE TAN 4 RIDING SOTGUN. I LOST MA FAIT IN UMANITY WEN IS TINY VOICE YELLED TROUG TE WINDOW... "NICE ASS!" FML
Today, mah new boyfriend and I got intimate fir the frst time. He startd whispering in mah ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushd me away and ignord me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk drty in Klingon. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones!! They work well!! Too well!! My mom came home, unpackd her shopping, walkd upstairs, knockd on my door, opend my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing!! Fucking hell!! FML
Today , My Grlfriend Sent Me A Bunc Of Sexy Pics And Said To Come Over To Er Place. I Tougt Se Was In Te Mood 4 Sex. Nope , Se Just Wanted Me To Come Over And Ang A Self , Afteric Se Sent Me Back Ome. FML
Today, I found out my grlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In relatd news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house 4 a different kind of activity. FML
Today, mah boyfriend calld me in teres, convincd that he found me in a porn video online!! It wasn't me!! And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too startd crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015