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StoicCloud's FML badges
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StoicCloud's favorite FMLs
by iliveformystery / 10/31/2014 at 11:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
by carless / 10/29/2014 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by soisblueballsdickhead / 10/26/2014 at 10:25am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 11:06am / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Love
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by how about never? / 10/19/2014 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML
by melissa1028 / 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
by BoobiePain / 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
by burritobreasts / 10/15/2014 at 2:27am / Miscellaneous
by Forge / 10/11/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was about to leave home for my first sweet taste of freedom at my new apartment, my car died. I'm stuck here for at least the weekend and can look forward to my mom driving me to work. Freedom. FML
by gonesofast / 10/09/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…