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StoicCloud's FML badges
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StoicCloud's favorite FMLs
Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML
by Marfo101 / 01/16/2015 at 10:41am / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Love
Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML
by licensed_ginger / 01/08/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Ajwc95 / 12/20/2014 at 4:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML
by Heyjai / 12/16/2014 at 9:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by weirdthingtosay / 11/21/2014 at 4:56am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
by limpdick9 / 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by oops / 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
by steak through the heart / 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
by izzy46111 / 11/11/2014 at 11:56am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML
by NoJobNovember / 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health
by limegreengiraffe / 11/01/2014 at 10:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…