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StoicCloud's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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StoicCloud's favorite FMLs
by Scarred4Life / 10/10/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by blow me / 08/07/2015 at 12:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 9:16am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy
by therealkathl / 03/05/2015 at 8:32am / Austria / Love
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML
by kaailin / 02/19/2015 at 8:29am / Australia (South Australia) / Money
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML
by krh14 / 02/10/2015 at 7:59am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML
by goodbyediet / 01/30/2015 at 6:00am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 01/30/2015 at 4:00am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by cuckolddreams / 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…