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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7054) - you deserved it (21795)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10241) - you deserved it (17306)
On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12057) - you deserved it (2232)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5062) - you deserved it (33496)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Yo mom - United States (California)
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17776) - you deserved it (2299)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (3953)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3718) - you deserved it (7854)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18633) - you deserved it (8225)
On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (12669)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (1957)
On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (4176)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by peonypiney (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21418) - you deserved it (1515)
On 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (1989)
On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5286) - you deserved it (105320)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (3731)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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